And this is something I wouldn't post on my livejournal because the person I am about to discuss has access to my lj - its a coworker and a friend, and do you ever have friends that you sometimes want to shake in frustration?
Yeah.
So I'm 37. My pal - I will call her Ann - is 31. Ann still lives at home. This is partly due to some crippling credit card debt issues she racked up, but also partly because it's... easier. Because see, the debt issue? Was cleared away last year.
She goes on vacation with her parents like a little girl. She's decided to buy a house - with Mom and Dad's encouragement - to build her credit and get that fat tax credit this year but Mom and Dad will sell the current family home and live with her. They will get the master bedroom, and the house has a third garage for Dad's workshop. It's her house in that she can decorate it and pay the mortgage but Mom and Dad of course will be helping out... (and Mom and Dad FYI, are not struggling monetarily - they plan to *rent* their current paid for house) When Ann's car was rear ended, instead of buying herself a new car with the insurance money and getting an SUV that she prefers - Mom and Dad basically decide for her that she should just take Mom's old car and put the insurance money in the bank for the house
The issue, ok? Is that Ann is very very dependant on her mom and dad and has only once lived away from Mom and Dad. The umbilical cord is nicely attached. She has NO plans to ever alter this way of life because really, its very cushy and her one time living away from Mom and Dad was pretty bad and she prefers to not revisit that time of horror.
Ok.
My problem? Is that Ann is often snippy with me over some of *my* issues... not realizing that my issues are in a lot of way the same as hers. Look, I'm afraid to fly. I am also afraid to drive. I typically don't like going anywhere that I have not previously driven to. I don't like taking my car on the freeway. I don't like driving over bridges. I don't do travel and change in my schedule well (yes this is one reason why I have hesitated to fully commit to Dragoncon.)
But I live independantly. I'm completely debt free and have been for over a year. I do drive myself places although I prefer getting rides. I don't live with my folks under their rules, and when I start looking to buy a house, it will be because I want one, not because my parents told me it was time for me to build my credit. I get the car, and the house, I want, not the car and house Mom and Dad think I should have.
So sometimes I want to shake my pal when she makes fun of how I'm a shut in because I don't like the idea of driving 30 minutes to hang out in a coffee shop when there's a coffee place within walking distance. She usually picks me up for our bi-weekly dimsum feasts. I used to drive myself but really? Right now we both live in the same area and why take two cars thirty minutes down into the worst part of the city? I have driven there myself. I've even taken the highway there. Ann knows that, that its not a fear trigger. So why is she making fun of me because once she moves to the new house, I'll need to drive myself and be more independant?
I mean... I'm not the one buying a house because Mom and Dad think its a great idea.
Anyway... just needed to say it.
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